


the moonlight makes us ardent (the sun returns our sense)

by Neurotoxia



Category: Bleach
Genre: Fake Marriage, Family, Fix-It of Sorts, M/M, Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-05
Updated: 2017-09-05
Packaged: 2018-12-24 10:17:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,361
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12010644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Neurotoxia/pseuds/Neurotoxia
Summary: Not in a million years would Renji have dared imagine his life would turn out like this.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [crookedspoon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/crookedspoon/gifts).
  * Inspired by [First make the sun in private shine](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7830487) by [crookedspoon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/crookedspoon/pseuds/crookedspoon). 



> In which I remix a fic that was originally gifted to me. I had plans to remix this one shortly after it was first posted, but never got around to it until I once again ended up with crookedspoon as my recipient in an exchange. It's a special talent of ours.
> 
> This fic can be read on its own, I think, though I recommend reading the original because it's lovely and enriches your experience. I needed this fix-it because frankly, the ending of Bleach made me mad. It was lazy and ignored ten years of character development to circle back to its beginnings. Just slapping on a visual equivalent of 'btw everybody's married now, yay heteronormativity' in your last chapter without any buildup to make it believable is the epitome of 'tell', not 'show'. Honestly, Kubo wtf. I apologise for the mini-rant.
> 
> (Just to be absolutely clear, I have no beef with Renji/Rukia or Orihime/Ichigo, or with the fact that they were the endgame, even though I would have preferred a more ambiguous ending that would have allowed for more varied interpretations. I dislike the way it was done)

Kurosaki’s face is priceless. Renji thinks they’ve broken him a little with the news that he and Rukia are not really a couple. That they’re just posing as one so everyone gets off their backs -- and that tiny little detail where Renji now dates Byakuya. Orihime gets over her surprise much quicker and is nodding at the end as if she never expected any different. Maybe she hasn’t, Orihime is much more insightful than she lets on at times.

A couple hours and several explanations later, Ichigo still seems to be picking up his jaw from the floor. Rukia and Orihime have left to venture into the town, a supposed ‘girl’s night’ they all know is code for ‘get sloshed at the izakaya, gossip, and have a night off without the kids’. The weather is mild, just right for the time of the year when summer gradually becomes autumn, leaves just about starting to go yellow and red around the edges. It’s less humid, so Renji and Ichigo sit outside on the porch with a cold sixpack of beer after Ichigo wrestled Kazui into bed. The kid is as bad as Ichika. Thankfully, it’s Byakuya’s problem tonight.

“So...you and Byakuya?” Ichigo starts again, probably burning up with all the questions he can’t ask in front of Orihime because she’ll smack him up the head for being inappropriate.

“Yep,” Renji grins, and it’s sharp, maybe a little smug. Now that he’s overcome the ball of anxiety in his stomach and Ichigo hasn’t kicked him out on account of sounding like a complete loon, he can have some fun with this. Byakuya _is_ a catch, after all. It’s nice that he can brag a little because doing it in front of Rukia is weird.

Ichigo narrows his eyes at Renji. “I’m still not convinced you guys aren’t playing an elaborate prank on me.”

“Byakuya would cut us both into ribbons if we joked about that stuff and involved him,” Renji huffs and takes a sip of his beer. They should get beer into Seireitei. Ikkaku once had a detailed plan to smuggle kegs through the gate, but Renji now has a noble reputation to look after and taxation is hell if you tried to go the official way. The fact that Renji thinks about things like _taxes_ now is revolting.

“Probably,” Ichigo mumbles around the neck of his bottle. “The fact you’re calling him _Byakuya_ and not _Kuchiki-sama_ with that reverent look on your face is proof enough. But the thought of Byakuya doing anything romantic, _with you_ , that’s just…”

Ichigo’s face goes through at least four emotions in one second, all of which can be categorised under ‘weirded out’ and Renji can’t help but laugh.

“Granted, he’s not the biggest romantic,” Renji says and shrugs before he gears up for another grin. “But what can I say, he’s very creative in other areas.”

“Oh God,” Ichigo groans. “Shut up, I don’t want to know about that. Not even a little.”

“You just make it so easy to rile you,” Renji laughs and kicks one of the chair’s legs Ichigo is balancing on. Too bad Ichigo’s reflexes are too good for him to fall over.

“Ass,” Ichigo grumbles, red in the face. “You’ve got to admit, it’s weird. You marry your best friend to be her brother’s mistress. Noble clans, man.”

“Technically, since I’m the married guy, Byakuya is my mistress, isn’t he?” Renji muses and tries to picture Byakuya in the traditional garb of noble mistresses he’s seen in some old history prints. It’s hilarious.

“Bet he’d be delighted to hear that,” Ichigo snorts.

“He’d kill me,” Renji agrees good-naturedly. “He’d take delight in _that_.”

“Doubtlessly,” Ichigo agrees. “But you’re okay, and I mean all of you?”

Renji nods. “Took us a bit to get there, but we’re okay,” he says and looks up to the full moon, remembering the time when he thought that Byakuya was as far away from him as the stars. Who’d have thought that this monkey would actually get to touch the moon? “I’ll never know how to repay Rukia, even if she’s threatened to freeze me into a block of ice if I so much as breathe the words ‘debt’ or ‘owe’ in her general direction ever again.”

“Guess we’ll have to trust her to know her own mind, huh?” Ichigo wonders and drains the last of his bottle.

“She usually does,” Renji agrees.

Ichigo flicks the caps off two bottles and hands Renji one. “I’ll keep asking anyway.”

Renji understands it as the show of friendship that it is. It’s hardly an average situation they’re in, he can’t fault his friends for worrying a little. “Wouldn’t expect any less of you.”

Ichigo is just about to fire off another line of questioning when the sound of something heavy colliding with the floor rings through the upstairs window, followed by a squeaked ‘oops’.

“Kazui!” Ichigo hollers while Renji laughs his ass off.

Kids.


	2. Chapter 2

Renji feels the fight go out of him when Rukia proposes. Not that he’s had much in him in the first place, not even he can be stubborn forever in the face of impossible odds, but Rukia’s proposal is akin to being doused with cold water. A reminder to be realistic for once.

He used to be in love with Rukia. Perhaps it was more of an infatuation because what he felt for Rukia has never been this sharp and biting in its futility. He’s never wanted to touch so often, never before curled his fingers into the folds of his shihakusho to keep them from reaching out. There hasn’t been so pervasive a drive to prove himself _worthy_ of even a glance, but the closer he got, the more complex, the more confusing the ball of emotions pressing on his ribcage had become.

Renji’s admiration is almost reverence, he stares in awe at petals dancing with lethal precision and at the hands that guide them. His admiration doesn’t die even when he himself almost does, cut down by these same petals. Renji never returned the blood-soaked scarf.

It became worse after his captain took Ichimaru’s blade to the heart to protect Rukia. Until then, Renji was afforded distance by loathing how Captain Kuchiki treated his sister, seeing Rukia grovel for approval from afar. Even now he hasn’t quite forgiven himself for leaving Rukia alone in her new family though Rukia now claims blame of her own for allowing Renji to do it. He doesn’t agree, but they’ve decided to split the blame evenly and talk no further of it. His captain started to demonstrate affection and kindness towards Rukia, even voiced his appreciation of Renji and his dedication to the Sixth Division and the Kuchiki family. It should have been a relief to finally be awarded the regard he chased for decades, but it more closely resembles being cut to ribbons by Senbonzakura once more.

Renji throws himself into work: he drinks less and only goes out seldom, he trains with Rukia, Hisagi, Ikkaku and Ayasegawa until all of them nearly keel over. The Sixth Division recruits he whips into shape with an intensity that makes some of them long for training sessions with Captain Kuchiki. The captain takes it upon himself to train Renji in intense sparring that has both of them bleeding, bruised and battered at the end but Renji wouldn’t trade it for anything. To enjoy his captain’s singular focus, Renji would do a lot more than have his clothing torn to shreds and press ice to cuts and bruises in the aftermath. 

Sometimes, Renji thinks he sees his captain’s gaze linger on him and finds a glimpse of Renji’s feelings reflected in it. If there is, neither of them acknowledge it. No word is said when a touch lasts just a second too long to be accidental; when the captain smoothes Renji’s shihakusho down because Renji’s been careless dressing that morning; when Renji insists on handing papers and reports in personally when he could have a grunt do it or just set them in the captain’s inbox. What good would it do anyway? Renji will be the first to admit that he can be oblivious to the point of obtuseness, but even he can’t deny the elephant in the room. Captain Kuchiki is a noble clan leader and despite his wealth and power not free to do as he pleases. Rukia had trusted Renji with the story behind her adoption, how her brother had defied and fought the clan to marry Hisana and nearly lost his position when he did it again to adopt his wife’s beloved sister. He vowed on his parents’ graves to play by the rules in the future and Renji understands, even if it leaves a bitter taste on his tongue. Timing and luck have never been on Renji’s side.

Renji loves Rukia like a sister, he’s willing to die for her in a heartbeat and really, shouldn’t that be enough? If he can’t have the one he wants, isn’t a companionship the best he can hope for in a marriage? He hesitates, because surely, Rukia deserves better? Someone who’ll put her first? Renji couldn’t say whether Rukia is in love with him and he doesn’t dare ask because he isn’t sure he truly wants to know. There has been talk of the clan finding a match for Rukia and meetings with potential suitors, none of which have been successful. Perhaps this isn’t a love match for her either.

In the end, Renji can’t reject her. He knows little of the way the clans operate, but he knows that for Rukia to propose, she must ask permission from the clan, from the elders and the leader. The elders won’t have given easily, even if Rukia was born a commoner and far down in line as heiress, she’s worked herself up to a position of respect in the clan and they certainly would have preferred to marry into another noble house and not take in yet another Rukongai mongrel. She’d give up her position and formal titles within the clan by marrying Renji, only keeping her name, her household, and the appointed seat among her brother’s advisors, an occupation she’s immensely proud of. The advisors are hand-picked by the clan leader, an open acknowledgement of trust and one of the highest honours to hold within the family. Rukia explains that her brother gave his blessing and persuaded the clan elders to allow the match, citing Renji’s feats as a warrior of the Gotei and his proven dedication to Rukia and himself. Renji cannot shun this endorsement.

He accepts, even when it tears him apart inside.

The next day, the engagement is announced with the fanfare required of a noble family. His friends pat him on the back, many of them claiming having always known he’d end up getting married to Rukia. Ikkaku-san demands Renji pick up the bar tab from now on since he’s gonna be filthy rich soon instead of congratulating him and it’s the first thing to make Renji laugh since the engagement. Even the captain seeks him out in his office, Renji nearly falls over his chair in his attempt to get up. It’s a rarity to see him in Renji’s little office, taking up all the space with his presence alone. There’s a noise of static accompanying his captain’s words inside Renji’s head -- that he’s a worthy suitor to his sister, that he’s proud to have Renji as his brother-in-law and that he will be welcome in the family. He’s staring at a point above Renji’s shoulder even as he offers him a more familiar way to address him if Renji wishes to do so.

Renji utters his gratitude and bows deeply, avoiding his captain’s pained expression and reining in his own.

He has no other responsibility in the wedding other than turning up for it (and in the weeks leading up to the festivities, Renji considers exiling himself to sweep Urahara’s shop for the rest of his life more than once); every detail is planned by the clan and Renji has no say in it. Neither has Rukia by the looks of it. There’s an assistant assigned to every detail of the preparations and proceedings. Renji wouldn’t be surprised if there was supervision for individual chopsticks.

The wedding itself is a far too grandiose affair because the Kuchiki clan doesn’t do small, even if the wedding is between two born commoners. But it’s the leader’s sister and acting captain of the 13th Division getting married, there has to be an appropriate celebration. Renji feels like an actor in a play, fidgeting in a hakama and haori made of materials much too fine for someone like him. He’s afraid to _move_ in them. An exasperated cousin has to fix Renji’s pocket square several times and he nearly breaks the fan some other cousin pressed into his hand an hour ago. Zabimaru is a comforting presence at his side, his sword’s spirit quietly humming in the back of his mind. It’s the only reason he hasn’t run for the hills yet.

Rukia looks beautiful in her white, bulky wedding kimono and she appears much more confident and put together than Renji could ever hope to be.

“You look a little green around the edges,” she teases as they ready themselves for the ceremony and Renji can’t help but snort.

“Fair warning, I might throw up,” he mutters.

“Please wait until the elders have retired,” Rukia chuckles and cuffs him in the arm.

“No promises.”

“Did you know, Inoue-san is pregnant,” Rukia throws in casually and Renji nearly takes a leap backwards into one of the countless Kuchiki koi ponds.

“What?” he yelps.

“Uh-huh,” Rukia says and nods. “At least it finally got Ichigo to propose.”

Renji later realises that Rukia dropped that bombshell to distract him and it worked, too -- he manages to get through the ceremony without embarrassing himself or Rukia, only forgetting the words he’s supposed to say once. Byakuya (and even in his head, Renji still has trouble addressing him as anything other than _Kuchiki-taichou_ ) as head of the house and acting as a stand in for both Rukia’s and his parents is seated at his side, uttering the vow under his breath for Renji to repeat and for one indulgent moment, Renji allows himself to imagine it’s not Rukia he’s marrying. That Byakuya isn’t in full regalia and the finest kimono Renji has ever seen because he’s attending his sister’s wedding.

He flicks his eyes to the side listening to Rukia reciting the vows and feels terrible for wishing it were different.

* * *

The celebrations Renji enjoys once they get past all the traditional bits and rituals. The sake is amazing and the food even more so. At this moment, he hasn’t realised yet that this type of food will be normal for him now; that starting today, he’s going to live in the sprawling mansion and that two servants already cleaned out his vice-captain quarters save for the essentials. Eventually, it’ll sink in, but not today. Renji gets to sit with his friends for a long while, toasts to Ichigo and Inoue and generally manages to forget thinking any further than the next few minutes for the first time in a long while. Rukia too has finally relaxed, having changed from her white kimono into a ornate, colourful one. It’s the same her sister wore when she married Byakuya, and Rukia had been moved to tears when she’d been presented with it. For Byakuya it must be painful to watch Rukia in it, considering how much she looked like her sister, even if he wanted her to have it. Renji wishes he had a way with words to offer some form of consolation, though he isn’t sure he could give it even if he were capable. He can’t look Byakuya in the eye today, but Byakuya hasn’t really looked at him either.

His mind has skipped most of the conversation going on around him while he tracks Byakuya with his eyes. As clan leader and next of kin to the bride, he’s responsible for the festivities: he delegates servants with efficient commands and carries on a conversation at the same time. Renji’s attention snaps back from the wind moving the ink black strands of hair trailing down the back of Byakuya’s kimono when he hears Ikkaku crack a joke about wedding nights.

Wedding night. It’s as if ice trickles down Renji’s spine. How could he have forgotten that?

He becomes aware of how hard he’s gripping the sake bowl just in time before he breaks the delicate earthenware piece. Rangiku punches Ikkaku in the ribs for being a ‘caveman’ at a noble wedding, which puts an end to that particular avenue of conversation. 

Wedding night. He can do this. Others have done it before him. Nevermind he hasn’t even _kissed_ Rukia yet. If he panics, he can still drink himself into a stupor and avoid it altogether.

Renji is ready to be beset by said panic as the last of the guests retire to their rooms or head home and his chances at avoiding the quarters he’s going to share with Rukia disappear one by one. As the official host, only Byakuya remains to see the last guest off, but he announces his intent to retire as soon as the door is closed without even looking at them.

“If you have a moment, nii-sama, there is something I wish to discuss with you and Renji first,” Rukia speaks up, shoulders squared and a look of steely determination in her eyes. “In private.”

Byakuya eyes her with curiosity for a moment, no wiser than Renji what this is about. Anything that delays retiring is welcome in Renji’s book.

“Very well,” he says and motions for them to follow him to his private quarters.

 

Renji is certain to have stepped into a pane of alternate time and space when Rukia closes the door on her way out, her words rattling around in his head although he’s only heard half of it, the rest jumbled by attempting to understand. He hasn’t said a word since Rukia started speaking but neither has Byakuya. It’s the first time Renji sees him in a state of open shock, rendered speechless.

Rukia orchestrated the wedding. She isn’t in love with Renji or attempting to keep him distanced from her brother. She married Renji so he could be _with_ Byakuya and she’d rather not see him leave these quarters tonight. Not even Byakuya can get a word in, Rukia bids silence with a motion of a hand -- the gesture so authoritative Renji wouldn’t have dared challenge her had he been able to form words. 

The following hours lift the weight of the world off his shoulders and he can breathe for the first time in what feels like decades. They speak. First bumbling, and awkward. It’s Renji who breaks first and admits the feelings he’s been harbouring for so long. Apologises even, for causing such inconvenience to his captain. Renji expects to be chided, or to be met with anger, rejection or disgust. To his shock, Byakuya does none of these things, he pulls Renji in and kisses him instead, stealing his breath away again. This time, Renji is happy not being able to breathe.

He cannot thank her enough, but the smile she gives him the next morning at breakfast tells him she knows.

* * *

Their arrangement is delicate, buried under a web of falsehoods and half-truths that would unravel easily if anyone chose to tug at its strings.

Renji harbours no illusions that stolen moments during the day and sneaking into Byakuya’s quarters at night are a temporary state. It’s as good as they’re going to get with the positions they’re in. Until Byakuya steps down as a clan leader, this is the hand they’ve been dealt. Living in the manor makes matters considerably easier, but it will hardly go unnoticed that Renji never sleeps in his own rooms. No doubt the servants notice that only one side of Renji’s and Rukia’s bed is rumpled and that all evidence points to a second person in Byakuya’s. Renji usually slips out in the morning before most of the servants start their day but they are excellent at remaining out of sight and he’s sure he’s been spotted without him noticing. The servants are steadfastly loyal to Byakuya and Rukia, many of them have been in service with the Kuchiki clan for generations, inherited positions from parents, grandparents and even great-grandparents. None of them would dare tattle. 

“Do you think the servants know?” Renji asks one night, sitting on the futon cross-legged, hair unbound and cascading over his shoulders. His light sleeping yukata sits a little askew from hurtling out of sight when an attendant brought Byakuya’s nightly tea to their door.

Byakuya is still seated at the low table in the room, practising his calligraphy. He finds it a soothing ritual before bed. Byakuya’s sleeping habits are appalling. Six hours or so a night and he usually wakes up once or twice. Renji gets cranky when he doesn’t get at least seven. He can do on much less in a pinch, but not unless he has to.

“Of course they do,” Byakuya states as if it’s a non-issue. “I keep telling you it’s unnecessary to creep around the manor at the crack of dawn.

“ _Of course?_ ” Renji throws your hands up. “That’s your take?”

“The attendants are paid to be observant, Renji,” Byakuya explains. “And they are. But they are also loyal. I am fairly certain we are not the most unsavoury secret they are aware of.”

“That’s reassuring,” Renji grumbles and looks around as if he expects a servant to hide in the bushes outside.

“Do you know why I am so certain they’re aware?” Byakuya asks, cradling his cup in his hands.

“Why, oh my captain?”

Byakuya raises an eyebrow and pointedly looks at the tea tray sitting beside him. “They’ve been bringing two cups with my tea for two months now,” he says, dry as the sands of Hueco Mundo while Renji gapes at the second cup.

Renji still remains paranoid – he’s even wary of the stray cat that lurks around the grounds every once in a while. Maybe it’s futile trying to outsmart the servants, but the rest of the world is still out there. It doesn’t help that Renji digs his heels in and refuses to be promoted to captain. He has bankai, on a good day he can best other captains in training matches, and Byakuya has trained him up so much that Renji has no trouble at all keeping up with him. The Gotei needs new captains, Renji is a viable candidate and has glowing recommendations from several divisions, including his own. Byakuya is ready to let him go and lead his own division, says he deserves a haori more than anyone else in Seireitei, but Renji won’t hear of it. He’s staying with the Sixth. With Byakuya. Byakuya tells him he’s an idiot, but thanks him for his loyalty regardless.

 

It’s not the first time that Renji corners Rukia somewhere out of sight and sound of the manor to have a word. Renji worries, not only about being found out, but about Rukia as well. She’s done something monumental for him and her brother but hasn’t asked for anything in return. Renji knows it’s not about keeping score but he often feels like he’s taking without giving back.

“Are you still okay with all this?” Renji asks and this time, Rukia does throw her hands up.

“What do I have to say to make you stop asking?” Rukia groans. “I am fine.”

“But what if you meet someone you actually want to be married to?” That one has been on Renji’s mind a lot. 

“Marriage isn’t something I’ve ever wanted,” Rukia sighs. “Not really. I’d much rather be married to my best friend who respects my work and who I am than a stuffy noble who’s only interested because of my family name.” 

“You know that’s not the kind of marriage I mean,” Renji grumbles.

“If I met someone I wanted to be with, I could be with them without marriage,” Rukia says with finality. “I thought about my decision before I made it. Marriage isn’t something I’m keen on. Dating isn’t something I’m keen on. This helps me, too. I’m not a martyr, Renji. It’s not the arrangement that I find exhausting, it’s having to hide it.”

Byakuya would have to step down as clan leader to be able to be with Renji openly, but this isn’t an option and Renji doesn’t dream of asking for it. The clan is part of Byakuya and he leads it with pride. He’s vowed to keep the clan’s honour intact and Renji isn’t selfish enough to ignore those vows. Neither Renji nor Rukia know much of Byakuya’s parents – they’re a sore topic inside the clan, and even the servants don’t relinquish much beyond recounting that both were kind, gentle people who adored their child and were taken far too early by illness – but it’s clear that a vow on their graves isn’t one that Byakuya takes lightly.

So Renji settles for what he has, tries to be thankful for being able to spend the night wrapped in Byakuya’s arms at all. He owes it to Rukia to make the best of the opportunity she’s given him. It works, for the most part, when he can ignore the world outside and the clan politics and have it be just the two of them. At those times, Renji is almost blisteringly happy. But of course this never lasts long, because real life has its way of creeping back in.

Fights under this much pressure are inevitable, and Renji’s temperament has always run towards hotheadedness. Paired with his stubborn deposition, he can be a nightmare to reason with. Try as he might, Renji has no understanding for Byakuya’s insistence that he might have to consider remarrying at some point.

The lack of an heir makes the clan nervous, even though Byakuya is still young. As a Captain of the Gotei he could fall in every battle. Among the elders, there’s also worry that he may have inherited his parents’ sickly disposition and pass away suddenly before ripe old age. Byakuya has resisted remarriage ever since Hisana died, but he says he’s unlikely to fend them off forever. At this stage, the next in line is a cousin of a side branch and the clan bristles at the possibility of breaking the direct succession by this much. Renji bristles at the possibility of Byakuya having a child with someone else.

The truth is, Renji would like to be a father. He has always adored children and he thought often of raising one of his own. With Byakuya, ideally, although Renji blurts this wish out amidst a heated argument of Byakuya bringing up marriage again. Renji isn’t stupid, he knows the only way for children to happen is through adoption, and while Byakuya could adopt his successor, he can’t just take in any orphaned baby that he pleases. The pool of viable candidates to be a suitable replacement for a blood heir is exceedingly small and too old to accept Renji as a second father. 

Renji regards it as another bitter pill to swallow -- a family with Byakuya would remain a dream, an idle fancy of a man with a tendency to lunge for the moon and fall on his face in the process. 

“The Fourth Division and clan healers are starting to ask questions about children,” Rukia says one evening over dinner and Renji nearly inhales his tea when he realises she means _their_ children. Another point that Renji had never even thought of, but by the looks of it neither has Rukia.

“Children?”

If you think about it, how could they have forgotten? Marriage in a noble clan is as good as a confirmation for children. It’s expected. 

“I think they will start prodding if we wind up not having any,” Rukia says and pulls a face. “They will think I might be ill like Hisana or it will fall back on you to prove that allowing another commoner into the family was a mistake.”

“Shit.” Renji thuds his head against the pillar behind him.

“We could use it to our advantage,” Rukia says and carefully, enunciating every word the way she does when she has mulled something over for a while. Her chopsticks hover over her pickled daikon as if contemplating the slices for answers.

“How?”

 

Byakuya resists the plan with vehemence. He shuts down discussions with Renji and Rukia both as soon as they try touching upon it. No matter that it would be all three of them raising the child, no matter that Rukia says she has no desire to be a mother full time. Renji knows Byakuya is actually fond of children, and had once looked forward to having his own. He resolutely refuses to discuss why he objects, so much that he threatens to banish Renji from the quarters lest he drop the subject. It stays this way until Byakuya is once more inundated with a barrage of eligible and eager heiresses. The clan tries to justify themselves with Rukia’s supposed infertility making matters of an heir even more pressing. It seems that in times of need, even the common-blooded offspring of the leader’s sister is preferable to a distant cousin. After an especially excruciating clan advisor meeting, Byakuya agrees. Rukia and Renji will have a child, one that Byakuya will adopt as his heir in the future. 

Rukia stages a convincing play at the Fourth Division about them not being able to conceive naturally and asks for their help. Renji doesn’t think he could have managed attempting the ‘natural’ way. Fortunately, the Fourth Division can help and only requires Rukia’s presence and Renji’s ‘donation’, as the healer called it in an attempt to be delicate. The _donation_ he can do. Handing it over is humiliating, but Renji is aware he gets off easy. Rukia is going to be the one running the gauntlet, there’s little doubt that the unkind ones of those in the know about the procedure will insinuate it’s her fault.

Nine months later, and Renji has a new understanding of what love is. He may never have had parents, but he knows from the second that he holds the child -- _his_ child -- that’d he’d die for Ichika even though he’s known her for less than a minute. Rukia looks tired, but pleased, and has the attendants collect Byakuya. Renji decides to give them a minute alone, he has a feeling that there’s a small mountain of things the two of them should talk through without Renji hovering over their shoulders. But looking at Byakuya gingerly taking the infant from his arms while Rukia looks on with a mixture of amusement and fondness gives Renji the lightning-bolt-like moment of clarity that right now, in this room, he has all the family he’ll ever need and more than he deserves. He actually got what he’s always wanted. Renji has no idea how he got this lucky.

Ichika grows up thinking of all three of them as their parents, never wavering that she has a much better deal than the kids with ‘only’ two. Byakuya formally adopts her at age five, makes her the heir without even consulting the clan elders and henceforth demands the marriage offers stop.

Miraculously, the clan accepts Ichika and Byakuya’s refusal to marry. The elders won’t give her the Kuchiki name until she’s finished her training and achieved a seated position in the Gotei, something the three of them see as a formality. Byakuya and Renji had a future training regimen worked out by her first birthday. For once, the clan elders seem to understand they have to take what they can get. 

Renji will see to it that Ichika is going to be the best damn heir they’ve ever seen.

**Author's Note:**

> Title taken from Astronautalis - Secrets on Our Lips


End file.
